57: The First Deer

The first deer came in the small specific morning of the second moon's second week.

Tie-zhu — by the small specific reading of his small specific eye, that he had been training, in the past four weeks at the small low pad and at the small wooden bench against the eastern wall, on every small specific upper-hills creature that came near the grove of twelve pines — had reported, at the dusk of the previous day, the small specific small herd of three deer at the small specific clearing in the eastern terrace, perhaps half a *li* below and slightly south of the hut.

He had reported it, in the small low voice he had been speaking in, at the small fire of the dusk: *grandfather. Big brother. There is a small herd. Three. Two does and a small specific older buck, perhaps three years. They came down to the clearing at the third hour after noon. They have been at the clearing — by the small specific reading of the small thin grey footprint of yesterday and the small accumulating tracks of the past week — coming down to feed at the small specific dried grass at the southern lip every two days. They will be back, by the small specific reading, at the morning after tomorrow, at the small specific second hour after dawn.*

Lao Wen had looked at him.

He had nodded.

"Lame brother. The reading is good. The buck is — by the small specific reading at three years — at the small specific weight at which we will need him. A doe of the small two we will leave; the country is — by the small specific old reading — to be left with its small specific breeding stock, at the small specific way the old hunters of the upper hills have laid for many years. The buck is — by the small specific reading of his year — the small specific one we will take."

He paused.

"The big brother will, at the second hour after dawn the morning after tomorrow, be at the small specific blind we will lay tomorrow at the small specific southwestern lip of the clearing. The small specific blind is the small specific work of a young hunter at his first deer; we will, at the noon tomorrow, walk the small terrace together and lay it. The smith's son will, at the morning of the shooting, be at the small specific lower contour, twenty paces below the blind, with the bow at his small specific stringing-and-unstringing arrangement against the small specific cold. The lame brother will, at the morning of the shooting, be at the small specific small high stand at the eastern lip, with the small specific eye on the herd as it comes down. The boy will, at the morning of the shooting, be at the hut, with the small specific cooking-pot ready and the small specific accumulating arithmetic of the household's stores at the small slab against the small specific addition of the small deer."

The brothers nodded.

That afternoon, the four of them and Lao Wen walked down to the small specific clearing at the eastern terrace.

The walking — for the lame boy and the old scholar — was slow. They went at the small specific careful pace, by the small specific arrangement of the past month. Heizi at the front, Wang Er second, then the boy and the lame brother and Lao Wen at the back. The clearing, when they came to it, was perhaps thirty paces across, with a small thin band of dried grass at its southern lip — the small thin band of grass, by the small specific reading of the lame boy at the small high stand at the eastern lip three days ago, was the small specific feeding-ground.

They laid the blind.

The blind was — by Lao Wen's small specific quiet teaching at the noon of the previous day — a small specific arrangement of low brush at the southwestern lip of the clearing, with a small specific opening at the eye-level of a man kneeling. They cut, slowly, the small specific brush from the small lower edge of the terrace; they laid it in the small specific overlapping pattern Lao Wen had drawn in chalk at the small wooden table the previous evening; they tied the small thin places with the small specific four-strand horsehair cord. The blind, by the dusk, was — by the small specific reading at fifteen paces — invisible against the small specific accumulating brush of the southwestern lip.

Lao Wen, at the dusk, said: *good, lads. The blind is laid. Tomorrow's morning is the morning. Sleep well. Do not — at the morning of tomorrow — eat large at the morning. The body of a young hunter at his first deer should be light. The boy will have a small portion of millet at the second cock; we will eat fully at the noon, after.*

That evening at the small fire, Heizi sat beside the bow with the small new horsehair bowstring. The bow had been — at the past month at the small clear ground in front of the hut — at perhaps thirty practice draws by his hand. He had, at the practice draws, been at the small specific accumulating reading of the bow's small specific weight and the small specific accommodation of the cold-weather draw. The bow was, by the small honest measure, ready. The shooter was — by the small honest measure of his own small specific reading — also ready.

He laid the bow at the small wooden table for the night.

He slept.

He slept the small thin sleep of a young man on the night before a small specific event whose outcome had not, in his life until tomorrow, been at his hand.

He woke at the second cock.

The household, in the small specific arrangement of the morning of the deer, moved slowly. An Ashi laid the small portion of millet at the small fire — small, as Lao Wen had said. Wang Er stood at the small wooden table with the bow already strung in the small specific cold-weather way Lu Wen-han had taught Heizi at the third moon, with the small folded loop at the lower limb still loose. The lame boy, at the small low pad, packed the small folded scrap of pine bark with the small thin charcoal sliver against any small specific note he would take from the small high stand. Lao Wen sat at the small wooden stool with the small bound book open at the morning's small reading.

By the second hour after the second cock, the four young men — without Lao Wen, who, by the small specific reading at the morning fire, said *lads, I will not, at the small specific reading of my old hip, be at the morning's blind. The morning is yours. I will, at the noon, be at the hut to see what you have brought back* — set off down the small specific old herder's path to the small terrace.

They went in single file. Heizi led, with the bow across his back at the small specific carrying angle, and the small hempen quiver at his belt. Wang Er, behind him, carried the small folded blanket against the small specific cold of a long winter blind and the small specific need, perhaps, of warmth at the small specific sitting. The boy, behind Wang Er, carried the small clay pot against any small specific carrying-back of the deer's parts — the heart and the liver and the small specific other internal organs that, by the small old hunter's careful work, would be cooked at the noon. The lame boy, by the small specific accommodation of the bad foot at the small specific lower-pace pace, came at the back.

By the third quarter hour of the dawn, they were at the eastern terrace. Wang Er and the boy went to the small specific lower contour, twenty paces below the blind. The lame boy went around to the small high stand at the eastern lip. Heizi went to the blind.

He knelt at the small specific opening of the blind. He laid the bow at the small careful set against his right thigh, with the bowstring still in its loose loop at the lower limb. He nocked the first arrow loosely against the bowstring. He waited.

The morning was — by the small clear cold of the second moon's second week — quiet. The wind was small, from the south. The small specific clearing in front of the blind held the small thin layer of new winter snow over the small dried grass at the southern lip. There was, at the second hour after dawn, no movement at any quadrant of the clearing.

Heizi waited.

He waited at the small specific listening of the past nine months at the road. He listened — for the shape of the silence into which a small specific sound might come.

The silence held.

By the small specific reading at his back, perhaps a quarter hour past the second hour, he heard — very faint — a small thin movement at the small upper edge of the eastern lip. The lame boy was, at the small high stand, signaling.

Heizi did not — by the small specific arrangement of the morning — turn his head. The lame boy's signal was — by the small specific arrangement Lao Wen had drawn last evening — a single small thin clicking sound made by the small whittling knife against the small flat slate. The clicking was the small specific signal that the herd had come over the eastern lip.

He stayed still.

He listened.

He heard, after a small further interval, the small specific small soft sound of a hoof set down on the small thin layer of snow.

Then another.

Then another.

The herd, by the small specific reading at the small ear, was at the eastern lip and was coming down — slowly, in the small specific careful way of upper-hills deer at a winter feeding-ground — toward the southern band of dried grass at the lip of the clearing.

Heizi, in the blind, drew the bow's loose loop into its small specific full stringing position with the small specific careful motion Wang Er had taught him in the past four weeks. The bowstring took the position. The bow was, at this moment, fully strung.

He did not — by the small specific arrangement — yet draw.

He waited.

The herd came down into the clearing at the second hour and a quarter after dawn.

He saw them, first, as three small specific shapes at the small thin grey edge of the eastern lip — two does in the small specific lighter winter coat of upper-hills hinds, and the small specific buck in the slightly heavier set of the older male.

The buck, by the small specific arrangement of the herd's coming-down, was not at the front. The two does came first — they were, by the small specific old reading of upper-hills deer at a winter feeding, the small specific scouts of the herd. The buck, behind them, came down the lip at a small specific careful pace, with his small specific large eye sweeping the clearing at every two paces.

The herd stopped at the small thin band of grass.

The two does began, slowly, to feed.

The buck — by the small specific careful reading of an older male — did not, at the first quarter hour, eat. He stood at the lower edge of the band, with the small specific sweep of his eye continuing.

Heizi watched.

He watched for the small specific moment.

The small specific moment, by the small specific old reading of a hunter at his blind, was — by Lao Wen's small specific patient instruction at last evening's small wooden table — the small specific moment when the buck would, by the small accumulating quiet of the clearing, lower his head to feed.

Heizi waited.

By the second hour and a half, the buck — by the small specific accumulating reading of the small careful sweep of his eye — concluded the small specific reading of the clearing. He lowered his head.

He began, slowly, to feed.

Heizi drew.

He drew slowly, at the small specific way Lao Wen had taught him in the past four weeks. He drew to the small specific full draw at his ear. He held.

He aimed at the small specific shoulder of the buck — at the small specific place Lao Wen had drawn on the chalk drawing of a deer's anatomy on the floor of the hut last evening, where the small specific place of the heart sat just behind and below the shoulder, at the small specific spot the small old hunter's word called *the small specific window of the heart*.

He held.

He breathed out.

He loosed.

The arrow flew.

It crossed the clearing — by the small specific reading at the small specific moment of leaving the bow — straight, in the small specific even arc Lao Wen had drawn at the small wooden table. It hit the buck — by the small specific reading at the small specific instant of the arrow's striking — at the small specific window of the heart.

The buck — for one beat — did not move.

He lifted his head.

He stepped forward — once, with the small specific delicate small step of an animal whose body had not yet, by the small specific reading of his own small interior, understood what had happened.

He fell.

The two does — by the small specific instant reading of the small specific death-sound of the buck's fall — bolted. They went up the eastern lip at a hard run. They were, by the small specific reading at three breaths, gone.

Heizi stood up from the blind.

He came out around the southwestern lip. He came across the clearing to the small specific shape of the buck on the small thin layer of snow.

The buck was dead.

The arrow had taken the small specific window of the heart. The buck had taken — by the small specific reading of the small thin pool of dark red at the small specific shoulder — perhaps three breaths to die. The small specific accuracy of the shot was — by the small specific reading of Lao Wen at the noon when they would bring the buck back to the hut — the small specific accuracy of a young hunter's first deer.

Heizi stood at the buck.

He looked at the small specific shape on the snow.

He looked at his hands.

His hands were — at this morning, in the small clear cold of the second moon's second week — the hands of a young man who had just taken a deer at his first morning at a blind.

The hands had — at this morning — drawn a bow at full draw and had loosed an arrow at a small specific window of a heart and had taken the buck cleanly.

He filed it.

Wang Er came up.

The smith's son — at the small specific lower contour twenty paces below the blind — had heard the shot and the fall. He had, by the small specific arrangement of the morning, come up at the second beat after the fall.

He stopped at three paces from the buck.

He looked at the buck.

He looked at Heizi.

He said in the small low voice: *brother. Clean shot.*

"Yes."

"At the small specific window."

"Yes."

The smith's son nodded.

He came forward. He knelt at the buck. He laid one hand, briefly, on the small still flank in the small specific old way of a hunter acknowledging the small specific gift of an animal taken. He stood up.

"We will dress him here. There is a small flat place at the lower edge of the clearing. The boy is — by the small specific reading of the small high stand — already on his way. The lame brother is at the small high stand. We will, at the noon, carry the buck up to the hut between the two of us."

"Yes."

The boy and the lame brother came. The four of them — at the small clear cold of the late morning, with the small specific carcass on the small flat place at the lower edge of the clearing, with the small specific careful work of the dressing taking, by the small specific reading of Wang Er's hands at the small old hunter's work, perhaps a quarter hour — dressed the buck.

The work was old. The work was the work of a small upper-hills household at its first deer of a winter.

By the noon, the buck was dressed. The small specific organs — the heart, the liver, the small specific kidneys — were laid into the small clay pot the boy had brought, with a small specific addition of pine needles to keep them clean. The small specific carcass, in two halves Wang Er had cut at the spine with Old Zhang's old militia knife, was laid across two small carrying poles the brothers had cut from the lower edge.

They carried it back up.

The walking up the small old herder's path to the hut was slow. Wang Er at the front-left of one half, Heizi at the front-right; the boy at the back-left, the lame brother — by the small specific accommodation — at the back-right of the second carrying pole, with the smith's son and Heizi taking most of the second pole's weight by their small specific shifted angle. They walked at the slow pace of the lame boy's foot.

By the second hour after the noon, they were at the hut.

Lao Wen was at the door.

He saw the small carrying poles. He saw the small clay pot. He saw the four young men and the small specific carriage of their small specific work of the morning.

He nodded — once, slowly.

He said in the small low voice: *lads. Welcome.*

That afternoon, Lao Wen — at the small specific work of an old hunter's old hands — taught the brothers the small specific careful butchering of the deer. He taught it in the small specific old way of an old officer who had butchered, in his twenty-seventh year at the watch, perhaps thirty deer. The work took the rest of the afternoon and into the early evening. By the dusk, the small specific household had hung at the small wooden bench at the eastern wall — and at the small specific drying-rack the lame boy had built at the small specific moment Lao Wen had said they would need it in the past two weeks — perhaps the small specific equivalent of three weeks' worth of meat for five at small portion.

By the small specific arithmetic of An Ashi at the small slab that evening, the household — at the small specific reading of the second moon's second week — was now seven weeks ahead of the spring.

The boy looked at Heizi at the small fire after the small evening's portion.

"Big brother."

"Yes."

"Seven weeks ahead."

"Yes."

"We will, by the small specific reading at the small slab, eat more than the small portion at the noon for the next four weeks. The bodies need it. The lame brother's foot will heal faster on more meat. The smith's son will not, by the small specific reading, be at any small fever this winter again. The boy — myself — will gain back perhaps the small specific small thin remaining weight from the road. The big brother will — at the small specific reading at his shooter's posture and his reading-pace — gain the small specific small accumulating strength of a young man at fifteen who is not in a famine."

He paused.

"Grandfather will, also, eat more than he has in the past five years."

Lao Wen, at the small wooden table, looked up from the small bound book.

He said in the small low voice: *yes, boy. I will.*

He turned back to the book.

That night Heizi took the first watch.

He sat at the small banked fire ring just inside the south face of the hut, where the small specific heat of the small banked fire kept the small specific cold of the night at perhaps the small specific quarter-distance Lao Wen had laid for the watcher.

He listened.

The shape of the silence at this hut, on this night, was the shape of a small old hut at the grove of twelve pines whose household had — at the noon of this day — taken its first deer. The small specific carcass was hung at the small wooden bench. The small heart and liver and kidneys were in the small clay pot at the back of the hut, against tomorrow's noon. The small specific stocks of the household, at the small slab of an Ashi's quartermaster's arithmetic, were at the small specific seven weeks ahead.

The household, by the small specific reading of an old officer at a small wooden table, was — at this dusk of the second moon's second week — at the small specific shape it had been intended to be at when the *四 人* paper had been read at the foot of the path three months ago.

Heizi filed it.

In the small lighter catalog of moments, beside the small wooden bowl and the small new fifth blanket and the bow's first arrow and the small specific morning when An Ashi said the household was ahead of the spring and the small afternoon when he wrote *生* in his own hand, he set: *the small specific morning at the small specific blind at the eastern terrace, when the arrow took the buck at the small specific window of the heart.*

The lighter catalog was — at this dusk of the second moon's second week — perhaps ten items long, set against the dark catalog of names that stood at five.

Five and ten.

The two catalogs were not — by the small honest measure — at any small specific equilibrium. The five names were Mei-er, Yan Liu-er, Ah Si, the eastern-pine hermit, the unnamed fourteen-year-old in the lean-to at the bandit-farm. The ten lighter moments were small lighter things.

The heart of a buck was — by the small specific reading at this watch — not a small specific equivalent of the heart of a foster sister.

But the heart of a buck was — by the small specific reading at this watch — also not, by any small honest measure, nothing.

It was — at the small specific way of the country's small unhurried arrangement — the small specific food of a household at five, against a winter, in a country at the slow accumulating slope of a failing reign.

He filed it.

He sat his watch through.

The owls of the upper hills called once.

The small banked fire held.

The country, in the small unhurried way of an upper-hills winter, kept the small old hut and the five young breaths inside it.

By the second hour of the watch, Heizi was at his own small specific shape of attention — for the first time in nine months — without a single small specific worry in his chest.

The household was — at this dusk — fed.

He filed it.

He sat his watch through.